Have you ever had one of those days…?

Have you ever had one of those days/weeks/months/years where you think, what the fuck is the point?
It’s not just the relentless fatigue nor the unremitting pain, it’s being surrounded by a sea of faces and still feeling alone.
It’s the never ending doubts by some and the infinite judgements of others.
It’s the constant eye rolling and the non too quiet sighs.
It’s refusing to explain my illness because even if I do, I’ll be met by the self-prevailing wisdom of the “well I’m ill and I still managed to get out/work/exercise etc,’ the competitive nature of the “I’m sicker than you” brigade and the pig ignorance of the “there are people worse off than you’ fan club.
It’s the lack of support, the always having to be there for everyone even though there is no one there for you. It’s the old symptoms, the new symptoms, the intermittent symptoms and the permanent here to stay symptoms.
It’s mourning the past, ruing the present and fearing the future.
It’s everything and more all rolled into one and the constant thought that this is not how my life was meant to be.