The Miracle Cure

3rd person present: heals
to become sound or healthy again.
synonyms: make better, make well, cure, treat successfully, restore to health, get someone back on their feet, put someone on the road to recovery; More

I’ve just read an article that boasts of a cure that will “heal” the most hardiest of disorders. Vertigo, Lupus, Fatigue, Arthritis, Fibromyalgia, Thyroid Issues and many more, will now become a thing of the past, thanks to this miraculous creation. Now that’s quite a bold claim to make considering some of these conditions, so what is this extraordinary elixir that can do what many medical professional have, throughout the centuries failed to achieve? Thyme. Yep, you read that right, thyme.

Apparently, drinking this herb with a touch of honey everyday, will stop your bones from thinning, (arthritis) halt the deterioration of cartilage, repair tissue damage, (osteoarthritis) stop your immune system from attacking the healthy cells in your body, (Lupus) regulate your thyroxine levels, (Thyroid) and correct any neurological disorders that affect the structure or function of the brain or spinal cord. (Fibromyalgia)
Not only that, but it’s also great for multiple sclerosis and even Hashimoto’s.

Why then are we not bowing down and worshiping this aromatic perennial evergreen herb? Why is it not given on repeat prescription? Why isn’t there a treatment whereby this glorious plant can be administered intravenously? And why is there not a God dedicated to the wonders of the Thymus vulgaris? WHY?!
In all seriousness, I know that certain types of thyme have medicinal properties and contain antifungal, antibacterial and insecticidal qualities, and no doubt can help in soothing some of the symptoms of many serious medical conditions, but those are a type of thyme cultivated for medicinal use. The article that I read only mentions dry or fresh thyme and not the various kinds such as wild thyme, which research has shown can induce cell death in breast cancer cells. To suggest that it can therefore “heal” is a dangerous proposition to put forth. No amount of drinking thyme will stop my bones from deteriorating or stop my body from attacking and damaging its own tissues.

To claim that something can heal, preys on those who are desperate for an answer to their pain and brings expectation and hope. And when that doesn’t work out, it leaves behind depression and a sense of hopelessness.
If the article had stated that thyme was a useful herb that could help alleviate certain symptoms, I’d have no problem with it. It’s the word ‘heal’ that consigns it to the ‘quack’ pile of medical articles.


WARNING-Cuss laden rant in progress…

When the toilet was first invented in the 16th Century, customers all used the same piece of rag to wipe their delicate posteriors. Well today, I feel like that rag.

When I was younger, I was once told by a doctor that there was “no such thing as stopping breathing whilst you’re asleep. It simply isn’t possible.” I remember leaving her office feeling somewhat depressed, ignored, angry, suicidal and exhausted. I knew that I wasn’t imagining the fact that my breathing was being interrupted up to 30 times a night, or that I woke up several times gasping for air and unable to breathe, but that doctor made me feels so utterly worthless, that I never mentioned it again until years later and instead, continued to suffer in silence.

Nowadays, we all know that sleep apnoea exists as a very serious sleep disorder, as well as the danger that such a condition poses.
Today, I received a letter with the results of my recent sleep test, I mean, what the actual fuck?! It came back as negative for obstructive sleep ‘apnoea and nocturnal hypoventilation’ and now I feel as though history is repeating itself again. That I am not being heard or taken seriously. I am so pissed, I could spit in a Camel’s eye!
The goat felching boiled brained barnacle of a doctor, didn’t even list any of my medical conditions except for fibro and suggested that I be fitted for a mandibular advancement splint device to stop me from snoring. What a bunch of fuck-witted twattery!

I know that I have sleep apnoea. I have woken up gasping for breath, horrified at the thought that that night could be my last night on earth. I have felt the moment when my breathing has stopped and I’ve had to kick start life into my lungs by forcefully expelling what little air I have left. Both my mum and my womb-fruit has been witnessed to many an episode, but that beef-witted, maggot pie weasley arse-clown, is basing his diagnosis on 4 sodding hours of broken sleep. How is that bollockery akin to an in depth sleep study??!

There is no way in Hades that I’m accepting the results. I have fought long and hard and waited a lot of years just to be taken seriously and now some prat-faced testicle wants to tell me that my problems are due to snoring and that my fatigue stems only from a lack of vit D and iron and not the fact that I suffer from ME and CFS (along with several other conditions were fatigue is also a symptom). Well Dr Vladimir Yeasty Measled-Tosspot, better don some armour wear for our next meeting because it’s gonna be an all out battle of a war…the ignorant twat-waffler. If it comes down to it, I will by my own CPAP machine because I am so bloody tired of being ignored and made to feel as though I’m  some hysterical female suffering with a touch of the vapours, who doesn’t know the workings of her own body.

Okay, that ends my Medieval worded cuss laden rant for today.