She Said Whaaaaa?

Being in pain 24 hours a day ages you. I think it’s to do with all the facial contortions of oohing and ahhing and ARRRRRRGHing as the daily pain gradually grinds you down.
A couple of years ago, people used to shave years off my age, now they add on decades. Like yesterday for example, when an elderly woman asked me if my thirty-nine year old friend was my ‘other daughter’…my other daughter being the Womb-Fruit who was not best pleased at being mistaken for a female.
I know I look tired and worn, but I was mortally offended, although not as offended as the Womb-Fruit at his assumed gender. Plus it would mean that if my friend was my daughter, I’d had to have given birth to her soon after I was born!

But that was not all. The old biatch woman then proceeded to ask what was the matter with my leg, that being the foremost question people usually ask when they spy my walking stick. Before I could answer, she followed that up with another question, “was it arthritis?” Rather then go through the list of my myriad of conditions, I replied “yes, osteoarthritis. It’s everywhere from my neck and spine, to my toes and fingers”, to which the She-Devil responded, “oh, so you’re not too bad then.”

Whaaaaaa??? Was my first overriding thought and then I considered that maybe she hadn’t heard me. So I explained that eventually I would need to have both hip and knee replacements and this is when Satan’s Mother piped up with “well, you’re still not too bad.
It was time for me to leave.

This morning, sleep proved to be an elusive son-of-a-bitch as I struggled with breathing difficulties, and so I did what most people do when slumber evades them…I ate chocolate. But of course chocolate at 4 am plus IBS, equals a not very happy tummy. And as the old saying goes,’a moment on the hips means a lifetime of agonising pain, a trip to the loo and a blocked toilet’…er…I pretty sure that’s how it goes…

And that’s when my thoughts turned to the old woman from a day ago. (not while I was on the toilet I may add) I constantly complain that when people see my walking stick, they wrongly assume what could be wrong with me. Or the assumptions that are made when I’m the youngest person in the rheumatology department, which is chiefly that I’m too young to have arthritis and so therefore, it must be something else.
I had made the opposite assumption with the elderly woman. I assumed that because she was old, she automatically knew what arthritis was and what it felt like.
Shame on me, because she probably had no clue what I was talking about.

So apologies elderly lady wherever you may be, although I take back half that apology for thinking I was old enough to be my own mother.

6 thoughts on “She Said Whaaaaa?

  1. They should have a “not liking IT, but liking you” button. I would press it many times for you. Sometimes those old people who assume that positivity is needed at all times if you aren’t actually dead yet need a good …..(you can fill in the blanks). Maybe she just meant that as you were still breathing you were good!!!!!
    Hugs for all the crap you have to deal with, commiserations for the mistaken gender of your wombfruit (although it probably gave you a little giggle, quietly so as not to anger him).

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  2. Lily, the first thing that came to mind for me reading this was that the elderly woman sure needed her eyesight checked after what she said about you and Spawn…but I hope you both had a good laugh after the initial shock of “whaaaaaa?! I found it rather stunning that she could say “you’re still not too bad” after everything you told her about your arthritis. But the point you make about assumptions is a very good one. I def. would have thought that most people as they advance in age would have some knowledge about arthritis, or maybe know someone with it. That is an assumption I would have automatically made too. So that could have been it with her, that she just didn’t know, and it’s very kind of you to look at it that way. Still, though, I have to say I’m not sure how she thought it was “not too bad” when you told that your arthritis was so bad you’ll eventually need both hip and knee replacements. Maybe that elderly lady thought getting new body parts was a good thing LOL! Perhaps she just didn’t understand any of it. But she still needs her eyesight checked!!

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    • I’m so sorry that I’m just getting around to answering this Madilyn, but there was no notification for this. We did have a good laugh about it…well I did, Spawn remained stunned for the rest of the day and just kept saying “daughter?” In disbelief. I’m trying to give her the benefit of the doubt, because although she may know what arthritis is, she wouldn’t know how awful and debilitating it could be if she doesn’t have it herself. I am still confused over the “not too bad” comment. Maybe she just didn’t hear what I said, or maybe and this might be a distinct probability, she was just plain old insane. Yeah, I’m gonna go with that one. 😉

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