I think that I may unknowingly be part of a secret scientific experiment to see if sleep is a crucial part of everyday life. It seems that it is not.
I feel like a Zombie but with less ‘get up and go.’ In fact, my get up and go appears to have gotten up and gone and I don’t think it’s ever coming back…selfish git.
It’s been almost 48 hours since I’ve had any real amount of decent sleep and that’s mainly down to one and one thing only, panic attacks… and maybe the fact that as a typical Fibro Warrior, I never reach the deep level of restorative sleep…or that I’ve been an insomniac since I was eleven years old…okay, so it’s not the main reason, but it is something that’s stopping me from getting some much needed rest.
It is now almost one o’clock in the morning and Allergic Rhinitis (which I’m still not wholly convinced that it is) has me in a spin of uncontrollable fear and anxiety. It’s a horrible feeling when your throat feels like it’s about to slam shut thereby cutting off your air supply. The rational side of me knows that I’m okay and that the feeling will pass, but the irrational side is a rowdy bastard and keeps shouting down the rational side.
So here I am trying my best not to panic…except it isn’t working. The lump in my esophagus feels like it’s growing bigger with every breath that I take and every breath that I take, feels as though it will be my last. It doesn’t help that my glands are also swollen as my thyroids try to get in on the act. (Those thyroids are such attention seeker whores)
Now the irrational side is telling me to ring for an ambulance, but not before shaving my legs, having a quick shower and doing my hair…well they don’t call it ‘irrational’ for no reason.
Anyway, I’m going to TRY and get some sleep. Goodnight y’all…dammit, now I need to pee!!